Snoozing

My life has been rather boring lately. And I’m not exaggerating, my life is all about viscera and blood vessels, bacterial infections and hormones. As much as it sounds like glitz and glamour, well, it’s not. In fact, my life has taken such a wind down the path to absolute monotony that even my written thoughts have been about the lives of others, at least in a few cases.

In movies, they often roll a montage of the lead character at work. In such a scene, the character’s day to day existence is oft summed up simply by a repetitive action, and usually not the type of action that’s, to put it plainly, full of action. My life has started to play in my mind like one of these montages. It’s all just a repeat of the same few things over and over again, interspersed now and again with a splash of something ever so slightly psychedelic.

By psychedelic I don’t necessarily mean filled with wonderfully enchanting drugs, but rather more colourful and less ‘tired’. I feel old way beyond my years when I say this, but I really live for these in between moments. These little escapes from the ever present anticlimax that is normal life. I sound depressed, I know. I’m not though. I’m just ever so slightly cynical and ready to press the snooze button on what is already a snooze fest.

I’m going to go take a nap now, I mean snoozing really can become a lifestyle.

Gaydar

Us gays like to believe we have something that we like to call a ‘Gaydar’. Said Gaydar, or gay radar, is our talent for distinguishing between gay and straight men. Fag Hags pick up this talent pretty quickly as well, and sometimes develop a better Gaydar than some of us who have been practicing for years.

Anyway, sometimes our Gaydars are a little faulty. Sometimes they are just outright completely wrong. Of course, we like to believe that we’re always right, but sometimes, and I’ll admit it, I simply proclaim some guy must be gay, to convince myself that I may have a shot with him.

I usually wouldn’t just make statements about someone else’s sexuality unless I’m pretty sure. The above mentioned cases are only when guys are seriously crazy hot. I do have a friend though, that loves proclaiming, loudly and very publicly, when guys are gay. This would probably be okay, if he wasn’t wrong 99 percent of the time.

Before I continue, of course he’s been right a few times. Statically, when you believe that everyone is gay, you’d have to be right at some point. This is the only reason he’s ever right.

So, the other day when we found out that someone was bi, he of course said that he had told me so, and how could I ever doubt his Gaydar. In his opinion it’s always on point. I’ve actually given up pointing out that the whole statistics thing, he’d convinced himself of his absolute talent to tell sexuality from a distance of 500m ages ago.

He’s also convinced that he’s going to end up with a very cute straight boy in my class. Sometimes I wish that I could be as positively optimistic as him, but then I remember that being realistic has saved me in some potentially embarrassing situations.

I guess that’s all I had to say. Just, don’t get too positive about a boy before you know if he likes what ya got, if you know what I mean.