A Guy

Hello… It’s me.

I haven’t written in so long that I haven’t even had the chance to make that horrible, now outdated, reference. There it is anyway. You’re welcome.

I’m that guy and I hate it.

I met a guy on Tinder about two days after a friend of mine told me that he liked this guy. Let’s call my friend Red and the Tinder guy, well let’s call him Tinder Guy.

So Red tells me over coffee that he met a guy on Tinder that he likes, but that doesn’t like him back. Or maybe that’s not true – they work at the same company so maybe they met there but somehow Tinder came up in the conversation? I’m not sure. Anyway it’s also not true that the guy doesn’t like him – he likes Red but isn’t physically attracted to him I guess. It’s complicated, but the tone of their texts seems pretty flirty to me.

So at first Red doesn’t want to show me the guy in question or tell me anything about him because apparently I’m his type. He then eventually shows me Tinder Guy’s picture and damn, he’s pretty fine. I resolve to not actively seek out this man – that would go against the rules of friendship and I’m not that person. I’m a grownup now after all.

Two days later I match with Tinder Guy. I must have swiped right before Red told me anything. Before I even have a chance to think about it, he sends me a message. So we chat a bit, he asks for my number and we text on another popular messaging app.

Problem. I’m enjoying the conversation.

So I told Red that we’re chatting and he says it’s all good since nothing was going to happen with them anyway. I know this is bullshit though, since I know Red and I know how I would feel. At the same time I also feel like I can pursue this very attractive and rather charming (in texts at least) guy since there was never a romantic connection between him and Red. This does feel like a bit of a dilemma, but we haven’t even met for coffee, so I still need to see where this goes before I question my morality and the possibility of me being an absolutely shitty friend.

Like I said, we haven’t met. We’ve been chatting for maybe two weeks and I’m writing my reproduction block exams on Monday and Tuesday, so the timing has not been ideal for a first date. First date? Do we even date in 2016? I’ve been single for about two years, so I’m unsure how this works. I have been out with guys though, it has not been a completely dry two years, don’t feel sorry for me now.

Anyway, the idea of a first date is freaking me out a little. I’m already nervous about it even though we are yet to formally decide on a time and place.What will I wear, will I be embarrassing, do I remember how to be charming, have I ever known how to be charming?

All these thoughts and more.

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